


Pieces

by Amasan



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Jon Snow didn't go to The Wall, Attempted Sexual Assault, Cousin Incest, F/M, Half-Sibling Incest, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, What-If, see you in hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-04-27 11:37:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14424609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amasan/pseuds/Amasan
Summary: Would life had been sweet for the Stark family if they were spared the war? Who knows. In this story there is no war and the whole family is alive. Life goes on.In the broad daylight Sansa despises Jon Snow, she hates him in hope that it would please her Lady Mother. But when the night comes and the castle is asleep the two of them are sharing their secrets.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys. To clear some thing up:  
> Sansa is around 13-14  
> Jon 15-16  
> Arya is 11
> 
> I found a few parts of a story I had started writing some time ago and decided to post it. I'm really fond of this one.

 

 

Lady Catelyn's voice was echoing loudly around the corridor. She was furious and once again disappointed with Arya's behavior.

„Do you even realize how foolish it was?! Or dangerous?”

“But we only played with wooden swords!” Arya didn't sound apologetic at all. “Boys can play and train like that all the time!”

“You are no boy!”

After breaking their feast Arya and Sansa would attend sewing lessons with the company of Old Nan. Sometimes Arya skipped that practice, but Sansa never mentioned it to her mother because Old Nan told her not to. It didn't happen often and Lady Catelyn only once noticed the occurrence. Today Arya was not so lucky. New fabrics were delivered to the castle and their mother came to show those to her daughters but found only one girl there.

As it turned out Arya went to play with wooden swords with Jon, her bastard brother in the godswood.

“If I was a boy you would have made me learn sword play even if I hated it, but because I'm a girl I can't even play with a wooden one. That's not fair!”

“You are a girl and you should start acting like one!”

“That's not fair!”

“Like most things in life!”

The girl had more love for weapons than any of her sons, Catelyn was well aware of it. It caused many problems but it also gave her hope that if Arya were to marry a skilled knight she will become an obedient and honorable wife.

But first Arya would have to let go of that foolish dream of becoming a knight. How could Lady Stark accomplish that when Jon Snow was there, encouraging that madness?

“Go with septa Mordane to your chambers, I will be with you shortly.”

“But mother-” The younger girl noticed that her mother's furious gaze was directed at the silent boy. “It was my idea, mother! I asked Jon to come with me. He had refused, he really did, but I-”

Lady Catelyn didn't spare her a glance. “To your chambers, now!”

Arya bowed her head and did as she was told. Only tree people remained in the corridor.

“Jon,” each time she spoke his name it left her with a bitter taste in her mouth. “I believe we talked about this before, didn't we?”

The first time she had caught them, she gave them only a warning. Back then it was tempting to punish that boy on the spot, but Catelyn was sure her husband would be not pleased about it. So she had a small talk with him after Arya was back to her lessons.

His face was impassive. “We did, lady Stark.”

“And yet you disobey me.”

“I'm sorry.”

“No, you are not. You said the same thing the last time and yet here we are.” His lack of emotion always made her even more angry. He was acting like Ned. Just like his father. “For a moon's turn you are prohibited from taking lessons with our master-at-arms. You will help out in the kitchen instead. Do you understand me?”

Not even a flicker of emotion. “Yes.”

“Good.”

Would she have been so angry if it was Robb or Bran? No, probably not. She wanted to say more. To be cruel, but she could not. Maybe if he was more different from Ned she would not have scorned him so much. But there he was, so similar to his father in both appearance and demeanor, more similar than any children she had given birth to.

“Get out of my sight.”

Sansa was silent during the whole exchange. When her bother beckoned her to follow she risked a small glance at Jon. She could tell that he was angry and hurt even thought he didn't show it. Jon caught her gaze and Sansa wanted to reach out to him. To say something.

“Sansa?” Lady Catelyn called.

“Coming.” Sansa gifted Jon with a small, sad smile and went after her mother.

 

***

 

  
“Can't you shut up for a moment?! Ouch!”

The rest of the day was mostly uneventful. Lady Catelyn went to talk to her husband leaving her two daughters alone in front of the fireplace. Both of them were sewing. Arya was silent as she usually was when angry and done with arguing. Sansa on the other hand was singing silently an old song about a prince in search of his bride. At some point it must have started to bother Arya, because the younger girl angrily snapped at her sister, pricking herself in the process.

“You can't handle a small needle and yet you want to carry a sword.” Sansa shook her head.

“Fuck you! You can't shut up when nobody wants to listen to you but when needed you won't even utter a single word. ”

“I don't know what you are talking about.”

Normally Sansa would have replied with something petty, but this time part of her did agree with Arya. Not that she would admit that to her.

“Of curse you don't!” Arya threw away her unfinished work to the floor and went to the door. “I'm sick of this!”

Sansa rose from her seat. “Arya wait! Where are you going?”

Arya stopped and turned to face her.“Like I would tell you, you would run straight to mother!”

“I didn't say anything to her.”

“Like when she had punished Jon? Jon told me that she had punished him! You were there, right?”

Sansa dropped her gaze. She felt bad for her half-brother as Jon did not get to spend much time with his siblings together. He didn't have many lessons together with Robb, because there was no need for it and he clearly enjoyed the ones in the yard the most.

“I hate you.”

***

 

When the night came and the castle was asleep Sansa had made her way to the training yard and was surprised to find it empty. The moon was covered by clouds and droplets of water were already starting to fall. She decided to try the godswood but nobody was there either. When she came back to the castle her hair was damp and she was cold, but she didn't went back to her chambers. She could see light under the door and a moving shadow, so she knew he was not asleep. Her fist was raised, ready to knock but Sansa hesitated.

_What if he doesn't want to see me?_

She was biting her lip in thought when the door in front of her opened. Jon was still fully clothed and didn't seem to be sleepy at all.

“Sansa?” She had surprised him.

“I went to the yard but you weren't there.”

“I'm prohibited from practice.”

Sansa gave him a small smile. “No, you are prohibited when the master-at-arms is included.”

Jon answered her with a smile of his own. “Come in.”

His chamber was much smaller than hers but it was still bigger that the ones their servants were occupying and he didn't have to share it with anyone. It was plain with only a bed , a small desk with a chair that was placed in the corner and an old storage cabinet that looked like it was more suited for holding weapons instead of clothes. Jon took out a blanked from it and wrapped it up around Sansa.

“You are drenched.”

“I will be fine.” Sansa noticed the wooden sword that was placed next to his desk. “You did practice.”

He gave her a sheepish smile. “As you said, Sansa. It applies only to lessons.”

She shook her head smiling at him but then frowned. Usually they would meet at the yard, Jon already there fighting with a dummy and Sansa would come to keep him company. It was almost an every-night occurrence and Sansa didn't want to change it. But today he wasn't there, he was in his chamber and she saw how surprised he was by her. Maybe she was becoming a bother to him?

_Maybe he really doesn't want me here. Maybe he wants to be alone._

She cleared her throat. “I will better go. I don't want to disturb you.” She turned around ready to flee but Jon caught her wrist.

“What? Why?” Her head was turned away from him, so Jon cupped her chin and made her turn to meet his eyes. “Sansa?”

She was biting her lower lip. “Am I not bothering you? I mean, you used to be all alone there before I started showing up, so maybe...well, you're in here and you didn't expect me so maybe you were hoping that I won't show up and-”

He cut her short. “I want you there. I like when you are keeping me company and I had already lost hope that you would show up. I didn't went out because it was starting to rain.”

Sansa wanted to believe him, but couldn't. Jon was kind and he would lie to her if he thought it would save her from pain or sadness.

“It never bothered you before.”

“I didn't want you to end up drenched.” Jon ruffled her hair and hugged her close to his chest.“Looks like I failed.”

Sansa could feel how her cheeks were getting warmer. “Really?” Her voice so hopeful it had made Jon smile.

“Yeah, really.”

“Then I will stay.”

 

***

 

 

Sansa was in the middle of a song when Jon suddenly hushed her into silence. He was looking intently at the door and later looked at her in alarm. “Somebody is coming,” he whispered.

“Oh.”

They never spooked much to each other at day, barely acknowledging each other, so they didn't know how somebody would react upon seeing them together in his room in the middle of night. With Sansa only in her under shift and laying under his furs it could cause quite a commotion. She had taken the dress off because it was soaked and Jon insisted she should use his furs to get warm.

“Hide.”

“Where?”she locked around frantically.

“In the closet. It's almost empty and big enough.” The footsteps were getting louder and more close to Jon's chamber. Sansa did as she was told while Jon showed the still soaked dress under his straw mattress.

“So untidy,” she whined from her hiding place.

“Shh! Be quiet.”

“Jon, are you awake?” It was their father.

“I'm up father. Come in.”

Lord Stark entered and looked around confused. “I've heard voices.”

Jon shrugged. “Must been the wind. It's quite loud tonight.”

His father didn't look convinced but said nothing. He sat next to Jon on the bed and put his hand on the boy's shoulder. “I wanted to speak with you tomorrow but seeing that you are awake I will do it now.”

“What it is, father?”

“I talked with Catelyn and Arya, they have told me about what had happened in the morning.”

If Arya had the time she probably would have been the first to talk with him. As much as she insisted it was Sansa who would repeat everything to their mother, Arya was guilty of the same crime when it came to their father. Maybe she wasn't even aware of that. She probably went complaining that Lady Stark was to harsh with Jon and herself while Lady Catelyn came accusing her husband of being way too lenient with his children.

“They told you two different things, I spouse.”

Ned nodded and smiled grimly. “Yes.”

“Nothing happened, really.”

Ned shook his head at him. “I have talked it out with Cait. She had agreed that seven days will be enough of a punishment.”

“Thank you. How did you convince her?”

“I told her that you will be training with me.”

Jon snorted.“Wouldn't that defy the whole purpose of my punishment?”

“That was my point.”

His father looked weary. He was silent for a moment and his hold on Jon tightened. “It's difficult for her and for you, I know.”

Jon gave him a sad smile. “People say other bastards have it worse that I.”

Ned nodded. “That's might be true. But you are my child and this is your home. Try not to trouble her and she will do the same in return. Alright?”

“Alright.”

“Go to sleep. It's already way to late for you to be up.” Satisfied he clapped him on the shoulder and made his way out. “Och, and Jon?”

“Yes, father?”

“Catelyn mentioned checking up at girls in the morning. It will be better If she would find Sansa there.”

Caught off guard Jon tried to feign indifference but failed miserably. He was gaping at his father who only shrugged.

“Goodnight to both of you,” and with that he left closing the door behind himself.

Sansa pocked her head out of the closed. “That was embarrassing.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys!
> 
> There might still be some typos and other wonders as I am so prone to making them xd Thank you for all your kind words and kudos. Your support is amazing!

The castle was busy with the preparations for the upcoming feast and soon guest would arrive. The girls were almost done with their septa when lady Catelyn came to the chamber suggesting that the girls could accompany her to the yard.

Some days when both girls were obedient enough and there weren't many duties to attend to, Lady Catelyn would let them watch how the boys were practicing their swordsmanship. Sometimes it was once in a week and sometimes more often depending mostly on Arya's behavior and their Lady Mother's whim. Sansa never insisted on it and didn't intend to start now. When she was younger she didn't like that particular activity believing it to be too mundane for a Lady but with time she learned to appreciate it...and she could openly admire both of her brothers. Even if she would forget herself and focus only on Jon nobody wold pay much mind to it because everybody else would be occupied with the spar. When mother announced that today they would be joining the boys at the training yard Arya cried out of Joy and Sansa feigned a grimace.

“Can we leave Sansa behind? She would only whine anyway!” Arya asked and Lady Catelyn made a face.

“Ladies don't wine and Sansa is a very proper young lady,” but Catelyn was still looking thoughtful. “But if you don't want too you can stay in the castle. Just this once, Sansa.” It was meant as a reward for good behavior, probably.

Sansa gave her mother a smile smile while fighting the urge to jab Arya with a sewing needle that was still in her hand, repeatedly. Her younger sister was grinning broadly now and urging their mother to hurry and go.

She wanted to go. She wanted to see Jon spar with Robb as he was back to training with him and Theon under the watchful gaze of their master-of-arms. Sansa had made sure to never let her mother know about her interest in those spars because she was sure that lady Catelyn would make some use of that knowledge. Just as she did with Arya, telling her that if she would be obedient she would let Jon train after seven days instead of a moon turn while in truth the punishment was already cut short because of their father. Sansa didn't want to risk that. She took a deep breath and spoke, “I believe that it would be proper to watch my brother spar when he finally has a better adversary that Theon.”

Her mother have her a proud smile. “Well spoken my child. Let's go then.” Arya whined but instead of reprimanding her Lady Catelyn only smiled and said nothing.

Cold wind hit Sansa's skin as the women made their way outside. They boys were already done with wooden swords and were taking the steel ones in hands

Ser Rodrick greeted them. “Right on time, my Ladies.”

Sansa noticed something out of place. “Doesn't Robb usually spar with Theon first?” She wondered aloud.

“Who cares, Jon will finally fight!”

Ser Rodrick ruffed the younger girls hair and nodded to Sansa.“Jon is a little out of practice and the first spar usually takes longer. He could use it.”

Something was telling Sansa that a different reason was behind this small change but she couldn't be sure. “How thoughtful of you.”

Ser Rodrick scratched his white whiskers. “Oh, it was Lady Catelyn suggestion. I have only approved.”

Her mother gave a small smile. “It would give him a fair chance to catch up to them.”

“We will see.”

Now Sansa was sure. Usually when boys were sparing Jon did rarely lose, he would either win or end up with a draw. In his first match against an opponent there was a chance to catch him off guard and her mother was hoping for Robb to grab it. She wanted Robb to beat him and show it to everyone but in truth it would be a show only for Catelyn as she was the only one afraid that Robb was weaker than Jon in any way. Sansa had already came to realize that it was her mother's greatest fear and she couldn't blame her for that.

Jon and Robb toke their places and started and Lady Catelyn's hopes were crushed with only few thrust of sword.

“Damn you Jon!” contrary to his words Robb was laughing while trying to get up from the ground. Jon helped him up.”

“Longer my ass!” Arya laughed at ser Rodrick and he gestured for them to try again.

“Arya, don't use foul words!”

The younger girl mumbled out an apology while the older one was fighting off a grin that was threatening to show itself. Jon won the second spar too.

Lady Catelyn was regarding him and Robb coldly. Usually when she was there she would always congratulate the winning party but the way she did that depended on who was the winner. “You did both well.” The same was expected from her daughters.

“You were great Jon!” If Arya could get away with it she would have ran to Jon and hugged him, making her dress all dirty in the process but it wasn't the case. “And Robb, you have gotten lazy!”

“Sansa?” her mother urged her.

“It was good,” Jon was looking at her and Sansa meet his gaze. She wanted to smile at him and so she did, but she moved her gaze to Robb. “Maybe you are out of practice too, brother?” Robb growled,Theon barked in laughter and Sansa hoped than Jon did realize that this smile was for him. She meet his eyes and relief washed over her. He did.

 

***

 

Many people were already drunk and it wasn't even the middle of the feast. Robb was dancing with any young Lady that was introduced to him as it was the polite thing to do and Theon had already disappeared, probably with some maid.

Sansa was already tired. She had three persistent suitors and they were keeping her company during the whole evening, making her mother pull her aside. “Were they tiring you?”

She wanted to say that yes, they were but that would sound rude. “All of them are very nice and proper.”

“Of curse, child.” Catelyn caressed her hair and then she frowned. “You looked tired with them.”

They were persistent. Asking to dance all the time and brawling who their ancestors were. Two of those young Lords were heirs to old houses and the last one was second in line but was already known to be a brave knight or at least he had claimed so. Money and good name, this was all it was about. Sansa was still young but she was soon to reach the proper age to marry and they wanted to join the competition as soon as possible.

“I don't feel very well.” She wanted out of there and maybe if lucky...she would get to finally see Jon. It wasn't possible in the last few days.

“Maybe you should retire and your father would do something about your suitors?” her mother was o confusing sometimes. For all her talk about her children growing up and marring of she was still protective when she had noticed that Sansa wasn't completely comfortable with her companions.

“Yes, that would be best I think.”

Sansa licked her lips and looked around if there weren't any listening ears.“Mother?”

“Yes?”

“Do I have to marry soon?”

“Not yet and not soon.” Catelyn caressed her cheek lovingly. “Don't worry. When father will give your hand away it would only be to a brave and honorable man. One worthy of you.” Catelyn kissed the top of her head and bid her goodnight.

 

***

 

Sansa opened the door silently and looked inside. One candle was illuminating the chamber and Jon was laying on bed, arms behind his head and facing the ceiling. His eyes were closed but he wasn't wearing his night clothes so Sansa guessed that he wasn't asleep. She made her way towards him and stopped right in front of him. If he realized that he wasn't alone anymore Jon gave no indication of that. Sansa cleared her throat but Jon remained as he was. She tried again and still nothing.

_Maybe he really is asleep?_

Then she noticed it, Jon biting his cheek and trying really hard to suppress a smile. “Ugh, Jon!”

Jon started laughing and opened one eye to look at her. “So unladylike.”

Sansa huffed. “I am nothing but a lady.”

Jon closed his eye again but there was still a small smile adoring his lips. “The feast isn't over yet,” he noted. The music was loud and could be heard even there. Sansa was glad for it. “Why aren't you celebrating?”

She made a coy gesture that he couldn't see. “There is something I wanted to do.”

“Oh?”

Her cheeks were getting warmer but Sansa didn't care. “Can I have this dance, my Lord?”

Jon sat up in record time. “What?” He was looking at her as she had grown a second head.

“I believe that you have heard me right the first time,” Sansa smiled at him. “Can I have this dance, my Lord?”

“I'm not good at this,” he shook his head. “And there are many young Lords who would be more than glad to dance with you.”

“I know and I don't care.” When they were younger and were taught to dance Jon didn't excel at it, this was true but neither mother nor septa did bother to try and teach him properly. It wasn't really his fault. “It's only proper for me to dance with all of my brothers at the feast,” she tried but Jon was like a statue. “Even mother had said so,” she added.

Jon's face became sour. “I'm sure she had only the true-born ones in mind,” he gave her a pointed look. “Go back there, Sansa.”

“I don't care about what she had meant by that. You are my brother too!”

Jon bit his lip. “I don't know how to dance.”

Sansa shrugged, “ I could teach you.”

“I would only crush your toes, Sansa.”

Sansa sighed and looked at the floor. Was he really this insecure or did she made him uncomfortable? “I won't push if you don't want to.” She was surprised to realize that somehow his refusal was making her feel sad but Sansa decided not to show him that. “Good night, Jon.”

“Sansa, wait! “ With rapid steps she was already behind his chamber door's when Jon caught up to her.

“I didn't say that I don't want to.” He looked to the ground and then back at her“I just don't know how to and you are good at it. You won't enjoy it.”Sansa could tell that he was sincere about it.

Really? From all possible things this is your reason for being stubborn?

She shook her head and Jon must have interpreted it in a wrong way because suddenly he was retreating from her.

Sansa caught his hand and squeezed it. She waited patiently for Jon to meet her eyes and when he did Sansa tried to give him her best encouraging smile. “Let me be the judge of that.”

Jon led them back to his chamber and when they went inside he had let go of her hand. He stepped a little away from her and gave her a proper bow.“So can i have this dance, my Lady?”

Sansa took his extended hand and guided his other to her back “Oh, I have already promised this dance to another. You see I even had to ask him myself.”

Jon decided to play along. “How unkind of him. Are you sure you still want to have this dance with him?

They were already dancing. Jon taking the first few uneasy steps making Sansa giggle. “Of curse.”

“Then maybe I could have another one then?” Jon gave her a very small smile and Sansa felt herself flush. A few years ago she didn't see him give that smile to almost anyone. It was reserved only for moments when Jon was happy and in peace. She had made him happy now.

“As many as you like, Jon.”

Jon was leading her slowly. His touch was gentle and from time to time his small heard tickled her temple making Sansa laugh. Then Jon would ask what was wrong and she would tell him making him apologize for something she didn't mind at all. Not so long ago Jon was over an head taller than her, now Sansa was reaching to his nose. She was growing really fast.

Against what Jon had been claiming, he wasn't so horrible at dancing and Sansa did enjoy it, even more than she did at the feast. He only lacked practice and was too unsure of himself, half the time looking at their toes.

“Don't look down, Jon.” Sansa grabbed him by his chin and made him look up.”Look at me.”

“I don't want to crush you.” Jon made a sheepish face and that had made Sansa smile even more at him.

“I will be fine. Look at me, Jon.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter we will go a little back in time and learn a little more about how Jon and Sansa started to meet in the dead of the night. Thank for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all Lords are noble, Sansa learns it the hard way.
> 
> Warning: attempted abuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for all the typos, bad grammar etc. Thank you for reading :D

_*One summer before*_

His breath smelled foul and his hands were rough. Sansa wanted so badly to scream but a dirty palm was pressed to her lips sealing them shut. Tears were in her eyes both angry and terrified. None was there to help, she was alone on the mercy of that wicked man and she knew he didn't intend to be merciful at all.

'Shh, little whore,' the man ushered her. He was pinning her down with his body weight and one hand was already working on his trousers. 'I know you will like it. Bitches always do when they pretend that they don't want it.'

It was a nightmare, it had to be a nightmare a horrible one. The day started wonderfully as it was supposed to. Today was Robb's nameday and a big fest was in order to celebrate it, many noble Lords and Ladies were invited to attend. Sansa could finally dress up as best as she could, show everyone that even thought she was from north she was as good as the Ladies from south, even Arya had to wear a dress and behave so there was no way her little sister would spoil Sansa's chance. 

The celebration was a success as she could hear the music in there in the stables. Music and laughter.

'Finally getting obedient I see.' The awful man grinned and caressed her cheek letting her mouth free for an moment. She could tell he was a Lord, she had seen that man before at the feast and his clothing was expensive. Lords were supposed to be noble, brave and caring just like her father. This man...he was monster to her.

'Please,' she choked out.

'Please what?'

'Don't do-' he slapped her hard and covered her mouth again. His trousers were gone, she could feel it as her dress was already reveling her legs, skin touching skin. Sansa squeezed her eyes shut, something hard was pressing at her thigh and his rough hand tore her underclothes away.

_'No, no, no, no!'_ she was screaming in her mind. 'Help! Someone help, please!'

'No one is coming little dov-' there was a loud cracking sound and a cold liquid hit Sansa's face and clothes. It wasn't water.

_'Ale?'_

The man atop of her suddenly became heavier than before but..he wasn't moving. She was afraid to open her eyes.

'-ansa! Sansa!' someone was calling her name. That man didn't even once use her name so it was someone else, it had to be someone else. Afraid of what she will see Sansa opened her eyes and gasped.

'Jon!'

'You have to get up, now!' The man was limp atop of her. His head was bleeding and shards of a broken pot were everywhere...Jon must have hit him with a full pot of ale. . ..But why was he here? He was suusted to be in his chamber. 'I can't lift him alone, you have to help me.'

Together they managed to trow him off of her and Jon helped her to his feet. 'Let's go,' Jon started to drag her away.

Sansa was shaken and lost, gripping on Jon's arm tightly but he didn't seem to notice. He stopped for a moment when he noticed an old and worn cloak hanging on the wall, it was dirty and smelled like a horse but he took it anyway and covered Sansa with it. She made a face but didn't protest. They were about to leave this place when they heard a groan. Sansa froze and Jon tugged on her forcefully. 'We have to go,' he almost barked.

The man was clutching his head. 'But he might be really hurt.' Defending was one thing but killing another were two different things. She didn't want to be responsible for someone's death. She was resisting Jon's tugging on her.

'Like I care!' Jon forcefully tugged at her arms. 'Or would you rather let him finish what he intended to do to you?'

Sansa stopped moving at his offensive words and maybe it was what Jon was really aiming for rather than insulting her as he wasted no time in lifting her up over his shoulder and ran away from the stable completely ignoring her angry shout of 'how dare you'. 

They were right in front of an entrance to the castle when Jon had put her down.

'I'm sorry,' he said to her. ' If he were to see me I would be in trouble.'

Sansa shook her head at him. 'Why? You saved me.'

Jon sighed. 'You don't understand.I have attacked a noble.'

'But you were defending me!'

He couldn't blame her. Sansa was literally like a princess from a fairy-tale, she was pampered, loved, spoiled and never blamed over anything. 

'And he will tell that he was fooling around and was drunk. We have misunderstood, you panicked and I overreacted. You are a child, I'm a bastard and he is a Lord and your Lady mother's friend. Who's words matter more? Not to mention you still have your maidenhood intact if I'm correct.'

Sansa blushed at the mention of her maidenhood but still stood her ground. 'Father would believe!'

'I know,' Jon looked down and sighed. 'But he might be the only one.'

 'You must be wrong,' she said but a small part of her knew that he is right. Even if she would menage to convince everyone of what this man was about to do there was no telling what would be thought about Jon. He could end up being punished just because he had hit him so hard or something. Even worse some people would not believe and would demand his punishment anyway. Sansa didn't want that.

Jon gave her a small sad smile. 'I hope so.'

They walked in silence through old and mostly empty corridors. Jon had picked an longer route to her chambers as those were corridors used by servants and handmaidens, he didn't want to risk being spotted. 

'So what should we do?'

Jon shrugged. 'You will change and go back to the party and I'm getting myself another jug of ale.'

'You want me to act as nothing had happened?' Was he crazy? 'Keep the dress, hide it so nobody would find it and talk to father when he will be alone. But not today.'

'Alright.'

Jon nodded. 'Stay close to family and don't wander alone..'

 

***

Sansa didn't like it but she did as Jon told. She had put on another dress, fixed her hair and headed to the great hall. 

There was a strange feeling in her gut as she entered it and it was just the same as it was before she had left the place. There was music, laughter and food but now it wasn't pretty anymore, it was disgusting. All of it. The music wasn't nice anymore, it was dull and annoying. Human voices weren't kind anymore, they were mocking, angry and fake and the food tasted almost rotten to her. She wanted to go back and hide in her chamber but she was afraid of being alone and yet she couldn't stand this place.

'Sweetheart where were you?' The girl was so engrossed in her thought that she didn't notice Lady Catelyn approaching.

She jumped surprised but quickly recovered. It didn't escape her mother's eves but the older Lady didn't react. 'My dress got dirty so I went to change.'

'Good.' Lady Stark patted her cheek and for a short moment Sansa felt warm again but it was all gone when she noticed that horrible man was in the hall. He didn't see her as he was engrossed with someone but it was enough to knock the breath from her lungs.

This time her mother reacted. 'Sansa are you alright?' 

The girl tried not to panic. If she would cause on commotion that monster could notice her. 'I don't feel well. Can I retire?'

Catelyn nodded. 'Of course, will you be fine on your own?'

'Yes.' It took a lot from Sansa not to burst into a run. She should go back to her room, she would be safe there. Sansa knew it very well and yet she couldn't bring herself to go there. She didn't intend to go there, she was about to go to Robb's chambers but in the end she didn't. Robb would be still celebrating as she saw him dancing with a pretty Lady a moment ago and she didn't want to be alone. 

On social events Jon would be either in his chamber or on the training grounds. She tried his chamber.

Sansa knocked 'Jon? Can I come in? Please?' 

He sighed, he didn't look happy about it but opened the door wider. 'Alright.'

Just as he had said he had produced for himself another jug of ale. She noticed something on the floor. Strangely cut wood and a small knife. They didn't speak much and Sansa was glad for it. Jon had let her have the bed and he sat on the floor and resumed his work with the knife. Sansa studied how his hands moved and how the wood was slowly gaining another shape. She didn't realize when her eyes closed.

When Sansa woke up she was in her own chamber tucked nicely in her bed, covered in furs and a small wooden wolf was in her palm. 

  

***

Two days later Sansa went to her Father's study cradling her torn dress in hands. Just as she was told she waited for the time when her mother wouldn't be around. 

'What it is Sansa?'

'Father I must tell you something.'

At first Lord Stark wasn't convinced, he though that she had misunderstood something but when Sansa showed him her dress and torn underclothes he believed her. His face went first pale from horror then red from rage. He remained silent only gesturing her to go on and listening intently. 

It didn't escape his memory that something similar had taken place two summers ago but the girl who was said to be abused refused to tell anything and Catelyn didn't believe a word being said against Lord Direheart as he was a friend of her deceased father's...He had made a mistake back then. A mistake that had almost cost his daughter dearly.

'Did you tell anyone about it?'

'No....I was afraid.'

In the end Sansa didn't tell who had sawed her but she didn't have to, Lord Stark had a strong suspicion who it was. As much as he wanted to speak with Jon about it he decided not to as he know that Jon won't tell him anything. 

Lord Direheart was from south and so he was out of Ned's reach. He could speak about it with Robert when the time would be right but he was well aware that it could be easily laughed off. An angry bile rose to his throat. Even as a head of an old house he could not do much. He wrote a letter to the abusive man claiming he was no longer welcome in the Winterfell and had it sent as quickly as possible. It was the second time in his life when Lord Stark felt powerless.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa takes Jon's side in an argument and it backfires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I'm sorry for the long delay in posting. I have tried to write this chapter a few times but it took me long to be satisfied with it. I hope that you will like it.
> 
> Thank you for all your kind words and kudos, it always makes me happy to know that someone is having a nice time with my work.
> 
> As always I'm sorry for all mistakes in grammar and typos.

 

  _*One summer before*_

 

Once again Jon ended up in trouble. He and Robb had made a stupid prank to the girls with Jon pretending to be a ghost and Robb making strange and scary noises while hidden in the shadows. As it turned out it was all Robb's idea but Jon ended up being the only one punished for it.

'For seven's sake what were you thinking?! You wasted flour, made a mess and scared everyone! what kind of behavior is that? You are taught better than that.' Of course Lady Stark was not pleased in the least.

'It was just a silly prank mum and it was my idea, remember? And even the girls laughed later, right?' Robb tried to defend him. Sansa didn't find it funny at all but this time she decided to help Jon out. 'In a way it was funny.'

'Theon screamed like a girl!” Arya pointed out.

Lady Stark snorted. 'It doesn't matter who had come up with the idea, what matters that you went with it. You should know better than that, we are raising you among future Lord's and Ladies! Only because you are not one doesn't mean you have to act as a bastard!' Her words were harsh, to harsh. Lady Catelyn usually even when angry didn't refer to Jon as a bastard.

'But mother! You make is as if he should get all the blame only because he is a bastard and not because he is guilty!' Sansa's eyes widened, she didn't intend to use that word, she really didn't but it had already left her lips. She had a good point and she knew it but she instantly regretted the wording she used.

Arya of curse was first one to point it out while Lady Stark froze surprised. She kicked Sansa in the shin and the girl cried out. 'He's our brother you swine! How can you say it! He's more of a brother to us than you are a sister to me!'

'Arya!' Catelyn grabbed Arya by arm. 'What do you think you are doing?!'

'She insulted Jon! She deserves it!' Arya screamed pointing at Sansa. 'All she can do is only is only calling him names and pretending she is better that the rest of us!'

'That's not true,' Sansa tried to defend herself weakly...

'Yes it is!

'Arya this is enough!' Jon called out and the girl obeyed. She only glared at Sansa.

'That settles it. Jon will clear the yard and you Arya, you will help me with sewing for the whole day.'

'But I hate it!' Arya cried out at the same time as Sansa. 'You promised that I will help you out.'

'Not important,' Catelyn turned to Arya. 'You could use more lessons for both sewing and behaving properly. And Sansa,' she turned to her eldest daughter. 'I expect better behavior from a lady.'

'I'm sorry mother.'

Arya glared even more at Sansa. 'It's your fault' she hissed.

'Enough already!' Lady Catelyn shouted out and took her younger daughter by her arm. 'Arya you come with me. Sansa and Robb go to your lessons. Jon you go and clean the yard.'

When everyone was going their separate ways Robb stopped Sansa. He had a strange look at his face. 'At least you tried.'

She cringed. 'I messed up even more.'

 

 ***

 The chance to apologize came when it was almost evening. Sansa finished with her lessons and went out to the yard in search for her half-brother. She was sure he wasn't finished yet as there was loot to do and so she searched. She had found him with a pitchfork in hands bringing hay for the horses.

She didn't know how to approach him as Jon seemed wary when he noticed her approaching.

'Jon?'

'What do you want?' he snapped not meeting her eyes and not stopping in his work. He had already hay on pitchfork and made his way to the stables, Sansa went after him.

'I wanted to analogize,' she said from behind him.

Jon snorted. 'That's a novelty.'

She cringed. 'I'm really sorry!'

He gave the hay to a horse and went back to collect more. 'For what?'

'I didn't want to call you..well.'

'A bastard?' Jon suggested finally looking at her. 'Or for adding me more work?'

'What? How is that my fault?'

'What do you think angered your mother more dearest half-sister? My prank or her precious daughter taking a bastards side?' he had a point. The girl was aware that her mother was even more angry than per usual with him. At first she only ordered cleaning the stables as punishment for him but after Sansa had spoken he was made to do the whole yard. In a way it was her fault.

'I'm sorry,' she really was. She wanted to say more but didn't know what and Jon again wasn't looking at her but at something behind her.

'Do me a favor and don't speak with your 'bastard half-brother''.

'Stop saying bastard!'

'Why? It never bothered you before?' It hurt. His words hurt. Not because they were taunting but because those were the same words she used to say to him when mother was close. 'Why should it now?'

'It bothers me now and know it very well you dammed bastard! I'm sorry that when i try to be kind you don't care at all!' she shouted out. Her eyes were getting glassy and she was close to tears.

'Sansa' Jon's expression changed instantly. He looked at her unsure as what to do but the girl didn't notice as she was trying to hold back her tears. She dint's notice the change in his tone and turned around and almost ran away from him. 'Sansa!' he tried again but didn't go after her. Lady Stark's harsh gaze didn't let him.

Jon focused on his work. 'Fuck!' he cursed under his breath. He wanted her to go away, not to start crying. He was hungry, angry, tired and just wanted to be done with this shit and hit the hay. In another circumstances he would be more civil to her but she picked a horrible time and him noticing that they had an audience didn't help matters. He felt like an idiot for panicking when he saw the older woman.

Sansa was almost at the entrance when a gentle hand stopped her, she looked up startled. 'Mother?'

Lady Stark gave her a pained smile. 'Don't pay him any mind, Sansa. He's not wort it.'

***

 

It was already late in the night when someone shook Sansa awake. 'A little more,' she mumbled but it was ignored as she felt the hand shake her again.

'What?' she snapped opening her eyes expecting to see Arya but to her surprise it was Jon. Before she could say something he placed a hand to her lips to keep her voice down.

Noticing her questioning gaze at his actions he whispered pointing at the sleeping Arya in the other bed. 'I would rather not be found here.'

'Because speaking to me is so horrible?' she snorted but kept her voice down.

'Because you two could end up arguing and let it slip. I would rather not talk with your mother why I ended up in your chambers.'

His words made Sansa smile a little. She couldn't help it that it was amusing that Jon wasn't afraid to defend her from an abuser but was clearly scared of her mother. 'You really are afraid of her, aren't you.'

'Can you blame me?'

Sansa dropped her smile instantly and bit her lip. 'What are you doing here, Jon?'

'I wanted to apologize.'

She snorted. 'What for, bastard?' It was childish but she wanted to jab him as he did to her but Jon didn't even react at her words.

He answered with a calm voice and sad eyes. 'I have made you cry. I didn't want you to cry.' Sansa didn't expect that. She wasn't expecting any kind of apology but definitely not for that and not a sincere one too. She could tell he was honest. 'I had acted as an stupid person. I'm sorry for hurting you.'

'Then why did you?'

Jon dropped his head in embarrassment, a gesture he and Robb share. 'I wanted you to go away before I would end up with another punishment.'

So that was it. 'I didn't notice that mother was out too.'

Jon cleared his throat. 'She came after you.'

'That's why you were so wary.' He only nodded and Sansa felt stupid. She did notice that he kept looking behind her and she had even meet her mother on her way back. 'I'm sorry for causing you trouble...and for calling you a bastard...more than once.'

Jon grabbed her by chn making Sansa to look into his eyes. 'Don't cry because of me. A Lady should not cry over bastard's words.'

'How can you say that.? doesn't make it you angry when someone calls you ..?'

'Angry? It makes my blood boil!' He snorted but then his eyes turned soft. He moved his hand from her chin to cheek. 'But it doesn't change anything because I am a bastard and despising in or not won't make any difference. It's just the way it is and how most people will see me.'

He was so calm when he had said it. He was used to harsh words and refused to crumble under them even when he received scorn for something that wasn't his fault in the first place while Sansa cried because of Arya's words even though she did deserve some of those. She felt so stupid.

'Thank you,' he said embarrassed. Noticing she didn't understand what he was referring to Jon added 'for taking my side.'

A sad smile graced Sansa's lips and once again that day she was close to tears. 'I only made things worse.'

Jon must have noticed it. 'Don't cry, Sansa. Don't cry.' He tried but his words made her tears fall.

Sansa lunged at him. 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.'

'It's alright, sweet sister. It's alright. Shh, don't cry anymore.'

Neither of them noticed the door getting silently shut not did they the retiring steps. Lord Stark smiled to himself walking back to his chambers.

He had returned late today and found his eldest son waiting for him with a pensive look an his face. Robb told him about the prank the two of them had pulled and all about argument that was after it and about how Sansa tried to defend Jon and how Arya had misunderstood her intentions. Sansa didn't deserve the harsh words she had received and Ned wanted to talk with all three of them but he was more than happy to find out that he wasn't needed for the elder two. It had made him feel proud. He didn't expect to find those two talking together but it was indeed a pleasant surprise.

It took a lot of time for Sansa to calm down and Jon was still with her, holding her close. 'If you want you can come with me to the yard sometimes,'

She wasn't sure if she had heard him right. 'But you said that mother would be more angry at you.' She looked closely at him.

'Not during the day. I often practice late at night and finish right before sunset, you could keep me company if yo u want.'

Just the two of them with no one else around...But maybe Jon would rather not have anyone disturbing him. There had to be a reason he likes to train when no one is around, right? 'Do you want me there?'

Jon gave her a cocky grin. 'Would I tell you about it if I didn't?'

'Don't answer a question with a question!'

'Why?

She wanted to know if she really was welcomed there but if he wanted to behave like that...

Sansa showed Jon of her bed with a huff.

***

 

It was a few days later when Sansa had made her way to the yard through the dark corridors and just as her half-brother had told her he was there, sword in hand and drenched in sweat.

For a moment they regarded each other silently, Sansa unsure what she was doing there and Jon surprised that she really decided to see him.

'Can I stay?' she asked. She wasn't sure if she was really welcomed there, if in the end it would be some stupid prank or Jon had told her to come in order to prevent her from crying even more but when she saw him smile at her she stooped caring. It was the same small smile Jon would give to Robb or Arya on rare occasion, the very same one she had revived too but didn't appreciate back then, before she had learned what the word 'bastard' meant.

'Of course.'

When the morning came Sansa had trouble getting up and reading herself for the day. She wasn't used to the lack of sleep. She was tired and caught Jon once or twice trying not to laugh silently at her grogginess but she couldn't bring herself to be mad at him. She was happy.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of archery, thoughts about the future and about a prince defending his fair maiden's honor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm on a roll today so here is a new chapter, I hope you will enjoy it :D There might be one more in this week as I have written a few parts that didn't fit in this one ^^
> 
> I would like to thank to vale110391, estee ,sansasflorian, smiling_ash, Titania_Queen_of_the_Fairies , Dena1984 for leaving a comment and to everyone else who had left me with a token of appreciation. Thank you guys!
> 
> Oh, and we are back to the present time in this story.

 ***

It was the girls giggle that had caught Sansa’s attention. Then she had heard a low male murmur and more giggles. Letting her curiosity get the better of her Sansa searched for the people making those noises. She didn’t have to search for long as she found Robb and a young servant girl hidden behind a tree. Her brother had his arms around the girls waist and was whispering something into her ear causing the girl to laugh even more. Then the girl took his face between her hands and placed her lips on his. Sansa gasped and decided to flee from them as fast as she could.

_'They had kissed!_ 'She had thought frantically.

When the time for supper came she couldn’t look at Robb because it would make her thinking about what she had saw. She was embarrassed and curious. The only experience she had was far from pleasant as it was forced on her by that brute and awful man. It wasn’t pleasant at all and yet she had saw that both Robb and that girl seemed happy and excited about what they were doing. And she had saw her parents kiss a few times too. The wouldn’t be doing it if it was horrible, right?...But it seemed so horrible to her back then.

‘Sansa, is everything alright? Your face is all flushed.’ Catelyn placed a cool hand on her forehead causing the girl to gasp in surprise.

‘I’m feeling fine. Maybe sleepy just a little,’ the sleepy part was true so it wasn’t a lie. She gave her mother a reassuring smile and started to showing food into her mounth in hopes of the topic being dropped.

‘If you are sure...’ Catelyn didn’t seem convinced but she didn’t say anything more as they would be all retiring soon and sleep was the best medicine.

‘But you really look funny Sansa, You might have fewer’ Robb pointed at her making Sansa look up at him and blush even more. ‘See? Your face is all red.’

‘I will finish eating and go to sleep, just leave me alone.’

‘Alright, alright.’

 ***

 

Thud

Thud

‘Damn.’ Jon’s arrow hit the target another time when her own went to far to the left. They were taking turns in firing. Jon was first and Sansa second.

_Thud_

‘Robb said you didn’t feel well,’ he said after hitting the center again.

She answered while reaching for a new arrow. ‘He was overreacting,’

Jon took a good look at her. ‘You look healthy to me.’

She snorted and released her arrow. ‘Because I am healthy.’ It didn’t hit the center but it was closer to the intended target than before.

‘Then why did he think you aren’t?’ he asked while preparing to fire.

_Thud_

Sansa didn’t want to talk about it but answered anyway. ‘I was embarrassed and the thought it was the fewer.’

‘Oh.’ Jon was a good listener and knew when he could dig and when it was unwelcome.

‘Dammit!’ This time she missed the plate completely. Jon abandoned his spot and went to stand behind her.

He grabbed her arms and fixed the position of her hands. ‘You’re pulling to hard. Loose your fingers a little too.’

She did as she was told.’ ‘Like that?’

A nod. ‘Yes.’ Sansa released her hold…

_Thud_

And the arrow hit the center. ‘Hell yes!’

Jon laughed. ‘How unladylike.’

‘I’m always a lady!’ She smiled quite proud with herself. ‘Again?’

 

Sansa never had thought that she would pick up learning archery but there she was, longbow in hand and reading another arrow. At first she couldn’t even hit the plate and it took her a few weeks to do so but one she managed it and gained some strength in her arms her aim was getting better and better with each practice.

At first she wasn’t really interested but she didn’t want to disappoint Jon. One night when she came to see him he had two bows ready.

‘Why two?’

‘One for me and one for you,’ he said and handed her the weapon.

Sansa took it with with diastase. ‘Me?’ she squeaked out.

‘You are bored sometimes. There is not much you can do in the night and it’s the only weapon suiting a lady I could think about.’

He did have a point with her being bored . They didn’t use candles as it could draw unwanted attention and the light the moon and the stars provides was enough for Jon to practice so Sansa occupied herself with talking and singing, sometimes she would also tell a story she had lately heard and thought Jon might enjoy too as they quickly found they had similar tastes in those.

‘Please try it at least?’ Jon had a hopeful expression and the girl didn’t really want to crush it.

‘Alright.’ She took one arrow out but didn’t really know how to do it at all. ‘Tell me what to do.’

Jon went behind her and showed her how to hold the weapon with an ready arrow. ‘You have to relax your fingers a little while still having a strong grip on the arrow.’ He moved her foot with his own. ‘Try to stand with legs more apart and don’t drop your shoulders down.’ Sansa did as she was told and Jon nodded. ‘Good, now try to focus on your target and release your grip.’

Sansa focused on the red center of the plate and shoot. The arrow missed the plate completely and Sansa whined. ‘Now I feel like you are making fun of me.’

Jon laughed and grabbed her by middle preventing Sansa from abandoning her position. ‘You weren’t perfect with sewing at the start ether. Let’s try again? This time I will aim.’ Sansa nodded and Jon took hold of both her hands and placed his chin on her shoulders and cheek close to hers. ‘We will fire this arrow together. When I will tell you.’ his time Jon guided all her movements. ‘Now.’ They released it together and this time the arrow did hit the center. ‘See? ' Jon was beaming at her. 'We made it.’

‘You made it,’ the girl pointed out.

Jon shook his head. ‘It’s harder to aim like that, took me a few times with Arya.’

That caught Sansa by surprise. ‘Really?’

‘Yes, and now she’s quite good with it so you could too.’

Sansa shook her head. „I don’t think so. She’s more..well boyish than me.’

‘So? As I told you, bow is a very feminine weapon and you have an advantage over Arya already.’

‘I’m taller and older?’

Jon laughed. ‘That too but I was referring to your hands actually.’

‘My hands?’ Sansa took a look at her fingers. ‘I don’t understand.’

He took one of her hands and traced her index finger. ‘A proper grip requires strong fingers. You use needle a lot so your fingers are stronger and more flexible than hers. It should be easier for you than for her.’ With a little more encouragement Sansa tried and failed each time to hit her target. She was close to trowing the offending weapon to the ground and stomping over it when Jon spook from behind her.

‘I wasn’t good with it to. Once I send my arrow into the stables.’

She shrugged. ‘It could have been worse.’

He laughed a little. ‘It hit Maester Luwin rear’

‘You are kidding, right?’ she asked disbelieving.

Jon shook his head. ‘It’s true.’

‘I never heard about it!’ she started laughing.

He looked at his feet refusing to look her in the eyes. ‘I was eight or nine and he only got a scratch. I was close to tears when he came out and he found it hilarious.’

‘He wasn’t angry?’

‘Not really. It wasn't the first time something like that had happened to him.’

The girl shook her head. „I feel bad for him then.’

‘He mentioned father doing something similar.’

‘No way!’ Father doing something like that? Imagining him failing like that was hilarious and if he did have the same expression he has sometimes he is embarrassed...Sansa couldn’t stop laughing. ‘You are making it up'

He scratched his neck. 'Robb asked father about it. It's true.'

The girl wiped her eyes. 'Now I know why you are always behind me.’

Jon made a fake gasp. ‘I quite like my rear, thank you!’

At first she didn’t practice often, maybe once or twice a week but Jon did always have it with him just in case she wanted it. It escalated with time and Sansa learned to enjoy it. It wasn’t so bad as she had thought at first and she could tell that Jon was happy when she tried it. It was a reason good enough to do it as she usually did many things to please mother so why not do this when it was proposed to her in an act o good will?

 

***

 

Tonight Sansa didn’t practice as she had cramps and instead she settled herself on the hay and watched how her brother declared war o the dummy. She liked simply watching him and learned to admire his movements. Mother always liked to say that one day Robb would become a great Lord and skilled swordsman but in her opinion it was Jon who was already skilled. If he could he would be a fearsome knight over whom all ladies would swoon over.

Jon stopped in his movement and sat next to her. ‘You are strangely silent today sweet sister.’

Sansa shrugged. ‘Just thinking.’

Jon switched his position opting for laying down instead of sitting. ‘About you.’

‘Hmm?’ He was facing the stars. ‘What about me?’

‘Do you think you could be a warrior?’

Jon didn’t answer. If it wasn’t that he was next to her Sansa would have thought that he didn’t hear her.

‘Jon?’

‘Sometimes I think about joining the night’s watch.’

For a second Sansa thought her heart stopped beating. ‘What? What for? Men go there when they have nowhere else to go!’

Jon shrugged. ‘But they are doing something honorable.’

Uncle Benjen was a night’s watch brother and he spook mostly good things about the brotherhood but Sansa did know that their father had sent many men there as a form of punishment as it was a common practice. Sometimes when the wall needed new men they would even take prisoners that would end with a death pentaly. There were good men but the horrible ones too. And uncle was send there as a punishment of sorts, she had overheard it once.The only people who had come there willing were the only ones who had nowhere else to go. Jon wasn’t stupid, he must know what kind of people were there. So why did he even think of it?

‘It’s not like I have much of a future anyway, ‘ he spoke answering her thoughts. ‘I’m to old to become a squire and I doubt someone would take me as one, so no knighthood for me. I lack the name anyway. If I would be lucky at best I could be a master-at-arms somewhere.’

It was true that as a bastard his options were limited but to think he was so pessimistic about it it made Sansa sad. She switched her position and laid down bringing herself even closer to him. Almost touching.

Jon was still looking at the stars with a sad expression and Sansa watched him. ‘Somewhere. Why not here?’

He grimaced. ‘It’s not like I can remain here forever. Your mother is generous as it is but I doubt she would let me stay here for long. And we already have a master-at-arms.’

‘He’s getting old.’

It made him smile a little. ‘Witch his health he will teach Robb’s children. ‘

His words held a final tone to them but Sansa had no intention of giving up. ‘But why there? There has to be another option!’

‘If I were to go somewhere I would rather have a sword with me and it would be still north so the wall is the best option.’

‘Something with sword, something with a sword…’

‘A sworn shield! You could be a sworn shield!’ she almost shouted out. He still could be fighting and it won’t be in that forsaken place.

‘Most sworn shields are knights, Sansa,’ he laughed a little and looked at her. ‘And who would want a bastard for a sworn shield anyway?’

Even thought his lips had a smile on them his eyes were sad. Very sad. Sansa answered him without thinking. 'Me.’

Jon didn't answer her but she did see how his eyes had widened in surprise. ‘You could me my sworn shield and a master-at-arms in my castle if you would wish to.’

He took one look of her hairs between his fingers and plucked some hay from it but didn’t let go of it. He twirled her hair in his fingers and laughed a little. ‘And what would your future lord husband say about that?’

‘I don’t care. It would be my bargain from the start.’ Sansa dragged herself closer to him and placed a hand on his arm. ‘So don’t go. Please.’

Jon hugged her closer and caressed her hair. Bot of them were silent for some time. Jon lost in his thought ans Sansa listening to his quiet breathing. ‘How come you came to caring about me so much, sweet sister?’ he wondered aloud.

Sansa tilted her head a little not understanding what it was about and so Jon clarified. ‘You used to be looking down at me. When we played I was always either a monster or a bad guy and at the end you didn’t even want to play with me at all.

You didn’t even want to play with me later.’

The girls face became sour. ‘I know. I was stupid.’

‘Maybe you were smart and are acting stupid now?’

It was meant to sound as a joke but Sansa answered anyway. ‘Then I would rather remain stupid.’ she nuzzled his chest. ‘How about we play now?’

‘How?’ Jon looked at her.

‘I will be a maiden and yo will be a brave prince.’

‘We don’t have any monster to fight.’

‘Of course we have.’ Sansa stood up and picked his long forgotten sword by now. She handed it to him and pointed at the dummy. ‘This monster had just offended my name. You have to defeat him my prince.’

Jon shook his head at her. ‘Really?’

Sansa stuck her tongue at him. ‘Am I not a good enough maiden for you my prince.’

Jon rolled his eyes at her and made a mock bow ‘I will do as my fair lady commands.’ Then he turned to the dummy. ‘Die you offending monster!’


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of namedays, promises and trust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this is fanfiction I decided to take a few small liberties. I hope this chapter isn't too horrible because at some point in the writing was a reall pain in the ass.. 
> 
> Sorry for all typos and bad grammar. All of you guys are great, thank you for your support and kind words!

 

The day of Sansa's fourteen name's day came and it was a quiet and pleasant affair. When Sansa was smaller she used to complain about the fact that no fest was being held in her name or her younger siblings but with time she learned to accept it. Now she was glad as a fest would only bring bad memories back and ruin her day as she was wary of such events now.

The day passed like any other and soon the time for supper came. Sansa was happy because there were gifts for her but also because it was one of the rare occasions that Jon was allowed to dine together with them. It was a small custom that he was allowed to do so on the namedays of almost all Starks with the exception of lady Catelyn and sometimes Robb's when there were guests of other houses.

The girl reached for another piece of lemon cake, the last one as it seemed, and accidentally came in contact with another hand that was reaching for it. 'Sorry,' Jon murmured silently and pushed the plate containing her favorite threat closer to her. Sansa realized that the attention of the whole table was on them now.

Two summers ago she would have huffed and snatched that piece right from his hand crying that it was her celebration. And maybe it was what everyone was expecting to happen now.

 _'It would be expected,'_ she thought. _'Father would frown, mother would scold me but a part of her would be pleased, Arya would glare and Robb with Theon would laugh.'_

She looked at Jon's plate and noticed he only ate pork, a memory of last nameday's came to her mind.

'If you don't want him there father can to Jon about it,' her mother had told her at the morning and Sansa's first thought was to say 'yes'. It would please her mother and Jon never acted like it would make any difference to him as he didn't speak with her much, only when he had to. 'You are old enough to decide for yourself.'

'No,' she had said instead surprising even herself. 'He's family.' It was before everything had started, one moonturn before Robb's celebration. One moonturn before the horrifying event. Now when she thought about it it occurred to her that even back then when she didn't think much about him a small part of her wanted Jon to be close. A part that she decided to shut away at that time because she had though it to be proper but it was still there at the back of her mind, always jealous of Arya, Brann and the rest of them.

 _'I want you here,'_ she thought now. _'And I want you to enjoy it too.'_

'I ate so much that I might grow fat,' Sansa said and wrinkled her nose for good measure.

Jon smiled a little. 'I highly doubt it. Have it.'

Jon tried to push the plate to her and the girl accepted it reluctantly only to cut the piece in half. She took one half in hand and handed him the plate with the rest.'Try it at least. You didn't have any.'

Jon blinked once, twice and finally nodded taking the plate with a polite 'thank you'. Even through his face was indifferent his gaze was amused and Sansa resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him. Everyone resumed their talk happy that no angry cries or whining took place . Only Robb remained silent for a while, he was looking intently at the two of them with a small frown on his face but it wasn't for long and he focused back on the conversation he had with Theon and Jon.

 

***

 

 Sansa went out to the yard but to her surprise Jon wasn't there declaring another war to a dummy like he usually would do. He was waiting for her while being seated at the top pf the stairs.

'Hey fatty,' Sansa released an angry puff and he only smirked.

'I hate you!' the girl stomped on the ground. Why did she have to say 'fat' and why was she even surprised?

Jon stood up and inspected her attire, an action that caught her off guard. Sansa took notice that he had rope over his shoulder and a swords was tied to his belt. Before she could ask about it Jon spoke. 'Let's sneak out.'

'Aren't we already?' the girl deadpanned.

He scoffed. 'Not like that. From Winterfell.' There was this spark in his eyes that made him look boyish and carefree for once. Sansa waited for an indication that he was joking but when none came realized that he was serious.

'Are you crazy? What about our guards!' Jon was a boy who could be considered an adult in some circles while Sansa was still a girl. If wished so Jon could go and return anytime as the guards would not bother him, the same treatment didn't apply to Sansa and the rest of the younger children.

'They won't,' Jon reassured her.

'Of course they will! Remember how Arya tried to sneak? A guard brought her back and father was furious and it was still during a day!' She could only imagine what their father would have to say if a guard would bring her back in the middle of the night.

Jon hushed her. 'We won't be passing them, I promise.'

As much as Sansa trusted him she was reluctant to follow with this scheme. Sneaking who knows where and who knows why. It was stupid, childish and most importantly dangerous. But...this was Jon and it made her curious if just a little to know what he had in mind. If it was anyone else she would have said a firm 'no' but because it was her half-brother Sansa considered it. 'What do you have in mind?' How did he plan to leave without anyone noticing?

'I won't drag you anywhere. I just want to show you something and you can change your mind anytime.'

She took a good look at him, Jon looked excited and a little impatient, his demeanor made her curiosity get the better of her. 'Alright.'

'Great!' Not wasting time he grabbed her by arm and dragged away. Soon they were inside the crypt and Sansa tried very hard not to have second thoughts.

Jon took a torch and soon they were descending to the lower floors.

When Jon was leading her there through the dark corridors she had half the mind to turn back, she was afraid. Sansa didn't exactly believe in ghost anymore but she couldn't help it. Jon was guiding them with calm and measured steeps, it was clear it wasn't his first time here. He was holding the torch above his head with one hand and Sansa was clinging to the other. If her grip was was painful Jon didn't give her any indication. It was a long way down and they passed many corridors too. Sansa doubted she could find her way back alone even if she tried. When they finally had come to a stop they were two floors below the main crypt. Father had prohibited everyone from going so far and yet they were here, in the parts that were said to be mostly collapsed and dangerous.

'What are we doing there?' she wondered aloud. She didn't know much about this place, only that the tombs were different than the others, instead of statues made of stone there were stone blocks, ancient and with strange and partially faded writings engraved on them. So old that no one could tell anymore what was written.

'You will see in a moment,' Jon answered while clearly looking around, he was searching for something. 'Ah!'

'What is this?' Sansa was observing him intently. Jon handed her the torch and crouched down in front of an tombstone. He placed his hands on the tablet and stared to push. 'What are you doing?'

'Calling the spirits of the dead, ' Jon answered with a grave voice and no intention of stopping what he was about to do.

'Very funny.' Before Sansa could point out that he was in fact about to disturb the dead Jon pushed the stone away. Sansa dropped the torch and took a steep behind covering her eyes with hands. She didn't want to see dead bodies! What Jon was thinking opening a tomb like that?!

She heard footsteps and a silent chuckle. Jon placed his hands atop of hers, his touch was gentle and he was standing very close to her. 'Why you afraid sweet sister?'

'What do you think?' she almost spat.

Jon was massaging her hands. 'Do you think I would bring you here just to scare you?' his voice as gentle as his hands were.

'No,' there was no hesitance. Jon was was not a mean person, he liked to joke at her expense sometimes but it was only teasing. He wasn't mean nor cruel like that.

'Do you think I would let something happen to you?' She felt him take one more steep closer to her. His chest was almost touching her. His hands drooped to her shoulders.

'No,' again no hesitance on her part.

'Then open your eyes sweet sister.' Sansa bit her lip. She was safe with him, she knew that and she was sure he had no ill intentions in mind. She dropped her hands but she still couldn't open her eyes.. She was afraid of what was in that tomb... 'Don't be afraid, look at me.' Jon kissed her forehead. I'm here, don't be afraid,' She wanted to open her eyes but she was afraid. She felt his hands move again, Jon was hugging her now. 'Open your eyes sweet sister, please.' Finally she did as he asked.

Jon meet her unsure and troubled gaze and again kissed her forehead. 'Brave girl,' he murmured and let go of her in order to pick up the forgotten torch. 'Ready to face the monsters with me?'

She nodded hesitantly and turned to look at the insides of the tomb expecting to see something gruesome but instead she found... a hole?

Jon bend down again and inspected it. 'I'm afraid we will have to crawl. The ceiling is low here but the further we go it should be more comfortable to walk.'

'Is this...?' she didn't finish wondering if this was really what she thought it was. But if it was how come she never had heard of it?

'A passage, yes.'

'How do you know about it?'

Jon scratched his neck.'Father showed us, me and Robb. He made us promise to keep it a secret.'

'How many people know about it?'

'Four, including you.' A secret in a place they were prohibited to go. Father didn't want anyone knowing about it and yet Jon had just showed it to her. 'It's very old and narrow escape route. Father said he is praying that none of us would have to use it but he decided to show it to us just in case.'

If he didn't want to know them about it it made sense that he had prohibited them from going there. 'Why did you tell me? Isn't that breaking a promise.'

'Not really.' Sansa cocked her head to the side and Jon shrugged. ' He had said to keep it a secret, he didn't say mention never showing it to anyone.'

Sansa wanted to shook her head at him, both of them know that Jon was puling the string but she didn't try to scold him. By showing her this place Jon had taken a risk. She could tell on him and he would end in trouble, she could tell about it to a stranger and someone with bad intentions could use this route. Jon had gifted her with a token of trust and it made her feel special, if for just a moment.

He had brought them here with the intention of sneaking out so it meant going to the end.' Jon decided to place his trust in her and so Sansa decided to return it. 'So, what are we waiting for? Le's go.'

True to Jon's word the passage had low ceiling only at the start and after few minutes of crawling they could switch to walking, at first with heads being held down but soon they were walking in a normal fashion.

'You were right, it's narrow all the way,' Sansa pointed out. She could not imagine how an bulky man would fit in there.

'It's pure luck you didn't turn fat then.' Sansa pinched him and Jon smirked. 'It was made on purpose so men in armor could not pass it quickly and even if they were the underground is a maze. Did you see how many turn we had to take to reach the right tomb?'

'Yes, I doubt I would find my way alone.'

'If we took a wrong turn we could have ended in one of the traps.'

'Traps?!'

Jon laughed a little. 'Yes, father mentioned it. It's one of the reasons he is quiet about this route, one wrong turn and it could end badly for someone. There are only tree safe routes in our underground maze but he had told us only about this one, the rest are traps.'

Sansa shook her head this time. 'And it doesn't bother you that we both could have ended in one?'

Jon turned to look at her with mirth dancing in his eyes. ' And yet here we are. I know the way so we are fine.'

The light from the torch was reflecting in his eyes and Sansa could not help but stare at him. Jon was usually silent and a little distant not saying much, but sometimes on rare occasions when he was excited or pleased about something it made Sansa notice how different from their father he was. If she were to say it aloud everyone would laugh at her as not only her siblings but also her mother had pointed out how similar those two were, in both appearance and demeanor.

'What is it Sansa?' Her brother stepped closer to her concerned with her silence. ' We will be fine, I didn't want to scare you more that you were already and o-'

'I know,' the girl cut him off. 'I know.' But were they really so similar as everyone was making them out to be or it was just that everyone wanted to see them that way?

'Then what is it, are you tired?' Their father was calm, collected, careful and patient, while Jon was wild, undisturbed, brash and methodical. Their coloring was similar it was true and yet when their father's eyes reminded Sansa of the color of ground Jon's eyes...

'Just...' his eyes were searching her face and Sansa noticed it again. '..lost in thoughts.'.. Jon's eyes had a raging storm in them. 'Sorry.' She could see it clearly each time she looked at him and sometimes, on very rare occasions just like now, there was something more in his gaze. It always diapered quickly and Sansa decided there was no point dwelling about that.

'We are almost there.' Jon pointed at the ground and Sansa noticed that there was swallow water ahead of them.

'My clothes will be wet,' Sansa complained thinking how she could prevent it and how deep the water could turn out to be.

 

Jon bend down, he took off his boots and tied them to his belt, he rolled his pants up to his knees. 'I will carry you don't worry. '

'Is it deep?'

Jon handed her the torch and picked her up in his arms. 'I'm not sure. Father said it can be knee deep at best.'

Sansa absorbed his words slowly. 'Father said...You mean you don't know?'

Jon smirked bashfully. 'I never walked the whole way but I know where it ends.'

She squirmed in his grasp. 'And you brought us here? What if it wasn't safe?' Why wasn't she surprised? In the distance Sansa could hear the sound of splashing.

'Father cheeks it at least twice every summer. It's safe my fair lady.' The water reached to the half of Jon's calf on it's deepest point and then started to turn swallow again, thirty steps and the ground was dry again. Jon let her down and the girl pointed out that she could hear splashing of water.

He shrugged. 'You will see for yourself.'

Finally they reached the end of the corridor. The exit was covered with some kind of ivy, Jon moved it to the side like a veil and walked out first. He extended his hand to Sansa to help her up over the two stone steps.

Sansa took the offered hand and steeped out of the exit only to gasp when her eyes took into her surroundings. Jon was observing her silently and when she finally turned to look at him he gave her a very timid smile. 'I wanted to surprise you.'

They were inside a cave behind a waterfall.

She walked closer to the wall of water and outstretched her hand. When the liquid hit her skin she was surprised to find out that it was warm. 'I though you might like this place.' Jon murmured from up close to her ear and Sansa almost jumped. She didn't notice him get so close. 'Sorry,' he apologized noticing her startled expression.

'I can't imagine that we walked that far,' her mind was full of wonder. There was only one waterfall with warm water and all Starks knew where it was located. Any time there was a hunt the meeting place would be this waterfall. She remembered how the boys complained about it once as in this place there were no bears and bigger animals, it was too close to the outskirts for them. 'I would never have thought that there is a hidden cave.' She realized that there must have been a hidden purpose for it, father wanted them to know the surroundings of this place as she knew now that they were two miles away from their home. Father was being careful.

Jon cleared his throat. 'We can walk around for a little if you want.'

'Alright.'

Jon tied the rope to a rock, he pulled at it a few times making sure it was tied properly but then frowned and cursed.

'What is it?' Sansa laughed at his expression. He looked both angry and embarrassed on the same time.

'I brought the rope so it would be easier for you to climb down but forgot that there is no way we would go down without getting wet.' He pulled at his hair. 'Dammit!'

'It's alright,' she assured him and Jon answered with an angry 'no, it isn't.'

Sansa took off her dress leaving only the undershift and smalclothes on. Jon removed some of his clothing too leaving only his shirt and breeches on. Both of them contemplated a little what to do about boots and decided to simply trow them out of the cave and put them on after they walked out of the waterfall.

'We are lucky that it's not cold tonight,' Sansa said as they started to walk thought the woods. Jon grunted something in response and she didn't ask him to repeat it as he was doing his best not to look at her as both of them were soaked and a lot could be seen from under the wet material that was clinging to her skin They didn't go far and soon found a spot to rest in the form of a fallen old tree.

The sky was bright with stars and they could hear owls and the movement of small animals. It was good that this part of the forest was devoid of bigger and more aggressive animals that could pose as a treat.

'Thank you,' Her mother had gifted her with a beautifully crafted comb and her father had given her an hair adornment with an blue stone in it and yet this was the most important gift she had received ever.

'Promise me something Sansa,' Jon said and turned to face her. There was again this strange spark in his eyes, a trace of emotion Sansa could not name and it was gone as fast as it came. 'Yes?'

He placed his hand on hers.'Promise me that you will never go alone through this route useless there is absolutely no other choice.' Sansa nodded slowly and Jon continued. 'It's not safe and I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to you because of it. Promise me, you will either use the passage with me or if there was no other choice but flee from Winterfell.'

Sansa gave his hand a gentle squeeze. 'I swear.'

'Good.' He stood up but didn't let go of her hand. 'We should head back. The sun will be rising soon.'

On their way back long after Jon had let go of her Sansa could not help but think about how warm his palm was.

 

***

 

 When they made it back it was already morning. It was also the first time Sansa had to face the day with no sleeping at all. When they all sat to break their bread and start the day her mother didn't miss her read eyes and slightly unfocused gaze.

'Did you get not enough sleep, child?' Catelyn asked with worry.

Arya laughed but there was no malice in her tone, only mirth. 'She probably couldn't sleep thinking about a prince from some tale!

Instead of denying and shooting a dirty look at her sister Sansa smiled. There was no reason to be mad when Arya was actually correct for once. 'And what is wrong about it?'

'Stupid, no one is going to steal you, father would chop them!' Arya answered with mirth.

'Arya, watch your words!' Catelyn waned but it was clear she found the exchange to be humorous.

'And I would help!' Robb added with a grin from his spot on the table. 'Right father?'

Nedd Stark only frowned at them. 'No one is chomping anyone now, break your bread.'

'See? 'Arya clasped her hands.' Father didn't even try to deny it!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On side note: Escape routes are not my invention and could be found in some castles, sometimes it applied to monastery too. Usually most inhabitants were not aware of them and only the head of the house and the chief guards know where they were located. As they were created for escape only severe preparations were made in order to keep them a secret and to build and guard those routes that would prevent using those passages as a way to invade the castle.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bastards, women's duties and first kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there ;D First of all I would like to thank you all for wonderful and kind words and kudos. If there is something that is confusing I would love to hear feedback about it too.
> 
> Sorry for all typos and bad grammar, I hope to get better hang of it as I go.
> 
> Don't hate Catelyn. She is not a bad person, she cares for her children and does what she thinks is best for them. She's just in a though spot and doesn't know how to cope, that's all.
> 
> I know you guys are waiting for 'The Shape of Us' and as promised before I will post at least two chapter in this month. One is in the middle of writing.
> 
> ＼(≧▽≦)／

 

 For a very long time Sansa was an unreachable entity to him.

It wasn’t always like that as the girl he had known as his sister used to play with Jon and the rest of them when they were little. She would make them sing together and play tag or monsters and knights.

He could remember when Arya was born. He wasn’t allowed to see her when she was still with her mother so Robb and Sansa had woken him late in the night and brought him there. The tiny infant laughed when she saw him. Jon was mesmerized by it, Robb started making funny faces and Sansa started to jump up and down because she was to small to see what was inside the cradle. Both Jon and Robb had to lift her so she could see Arya too, everything was good then. Then one day the girl he treasured as much as the rest of his siblings pointed a finger at him and cried ‘you are not mu true brother. Mother had said so.’ Jon didn’t remember what had happened after, only that she ran away crying to Lady Catelyn. Did he say something mean to her? Did he do something to her? He wasn’t sure as he was eight at that time but he could remember that each time he tried to play with his sister Lady Catelyn would come to them with a frown on her face and an excuse to take her away, Sansa was always obedient and would do what she was told and so she would only nod and follow her mother. He didn’t understand it back then.

Time passed and Sansa distanced herself from him. She didn’t run to hug him anymore, she avoided playing with him, and reminded him that he was only her half-brother while her mother watched them from distance. The first time Sansa had started acting this way her eyes were sad but with time she hat gotten used to that and her eyes held no emotion for him. More time passed and Lady Catelyn tried to do the same with Arya but the younger girl was not obedient at all and rather to act like a proper girl she wanted to play the part of a boy.

Sansa became someone he didn’t know. She was just there and he would sometimes joke at her expense and that was pretty all.

But sometimes, on very rare occasions he would look at her from a distance when she was collecting flowers or playing with her hair in the open. He would look at her and see her pretty smile that often didn’t reach her eyes and notice that once again she would be alone as if Robb or Arya would be out there too they would be next to him. The only companions she usually had were either her mother, septa or Jeyne Poole and they weren’t around her that much anymore.

A part of him would wish then that he had the courage to go to her and talk, to do something that would make her look at him the way she used to when they were all little but he was a coward back then.

When Sansa came to see him for the first time he could hardly believe it. They were almost the same height then and yet she looked so small and fragile, he was unsure what to do with her then, let her in or send her away because he didn't want to listen to her talking what her mother wanted her to talk about him. He was well aware about being a bastard, he didn’t need remainders. He had half the mind to turn her away but then he noticed that she was trembling. She was biting on her lip, with shaking arms and watery eyes she looked at him and Jon know that he could not refuse her. She looked like that little girl that shouted at him and ran away scared but this time instead of running away from him she ran to him. Even if for a very short moment his younger sister was with him and wanted him close, Jon was happy.

He was sure that she would grow tired of him pretty quickly, he was boring and the only thing he had to offer was his miserable company but instead of that happening Sansa started showing up more and more in order for them to meet. After a moonturn Sansa was still around and happy with his company Jon made a promise to himself to do everything he could in order to keep it that way.

 

***

 ‘Sansa is acting strange

They were in the middle of polishing armor. Theon was the first to finish so it was only the two of them. Jon’s head shot up at his brothers words. ‘What do you mean?’

Robb visibly shrugged. ‘I don’t know, really.’ His eyes were on his sword. ‘Just different I guess.’ Jon’s eyes narrowed. ‘Sansa is well...Sansa. She was always full of herself, distant and looking down on us.’Robb wasn’t exactly wrong but his words sparkled something inside of Jon. Anger. ‘She’s even acting nicer towards you.’

‘And why is this bad?’ Jon tried his best to suppress his emotions but some must have slipped because Robb suddenly turned to look at him.

‘I’m not saying that it’s bad. It’s just strange.’

Jon loved Robb, he was his brother and best friend but right now his words were stirring something ugly in him. Sansa was lonely, maybe even as lonely as Jon was sometimes feeling. The girl was always doing everything she was told by her parents and what the elders had told her and yet it was never enough. Robb was smart and hardworking but even if he weren’t he would have been still his mother’s favorite as he was her firstborn. Arya never really behaved and yet she was always excused by their father as he would only laugh and pat her head, Brann and Rickon were small so it didn’t matter what they did as they would always have everyone's attention. It was sad that the one person who was trying the most to please was the also the one nobody did pay almost any mind. All she had were her stupid tales and her mother’s pride from time to time. She was the only one who did everything she was told to do and yet it didn’t do her any good. Why it was so damn hard to see it?

‘Would you rather have her mean and aloof all the time?’

‘Of course not!’ Robb put his sword down and and sighed. ‘It doesn't surprise you? Like not at all?’

Jon needed a way out of the conversation. This ...friendship he has with his sister, he would rather keep it private. ‘You think it’s strange that she shared a piece of cake with me?’

‘Yes!’ Robb blushed realizing that his word sounded offensive. ‘No! It’s not only about it.’

‘Then what it is about?’

‘It’s...well she used to speak about the capital, south and princlings. ‘

‘I thought that she still does that. Arya is still complaining even thought they don’t share a chamber anymore.’ That much was true and both f them know it.

Robb shook his head. ‘She is still into knight and stuff, but she didn’t mention south in like...ages.’

Jon crossed his arms and frowned. ‘So?’

‘It was all she used to talk about before.’

It was true but there was one thing that Robb didn't realize. Sansa stopped talking about t quite a while ago. Either he wasn't aware or he was baiting him to say something he shouldn’t know about. ‘Maybe she’s growing up? Either she changed her mind about it or she realized that it’s not likely that father would betroth her with someone who lives so far away from here. We are barely older than her, Robb. It’s time she started to act more like an adult.’

‘Did you speak with her recently?’

It was a bait then, Jon concluded. ‘No. What for?’ Robb was staring at hm with narrowed eyed but then his expression suddenly softened. ‘Robb?’

‘Forget it. I’m probably overthinking it.’

 

***

 

There were clouds in the sky today but the moon was still visible. Once again Sansa was practicing archery but Jon could see that her mind was not on it, she didn’t even notice that he had moved her target to a larger distance. Her aim wasn’t usually bad but today she kept missing her target all the time. Something was troubling her, that much he could tell.

He left his sword on the ground and marched to stand next to her. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing.’ She didn’t even turn to look at him.

Jon stood silent next to her only observing and Sansa continued. It didn’t take long for her to cut herself on the arrow. ‘Ouch!’

Jon grabbed both the arrow and bows from her hands and trowed them to the ground. ‘What’s wrong?’ He repeated.

‘Nothing,’ Sansa tried to pick the discarded items but Jon was quick to step on those.

‘Sansa, tell me,’ It sounded like both a plea and a warning to his ears.

The girl finally decided to meet his eyes.‘I said nothing. Everything if fine.’

Sansa was a good liar when she wanted to be, her voice could have been convincing but the same could not have been told about her eyes. ‘Bullshit!’ She flinched. ‘Please Sansa, tell me.’

The girl made a strange sound, it was neither a huff nor a whine. She suddenly turned around and started to walk away.

Jon was surprised at her behavior but was quick to run after her.

‘Sansa wait!’ He caught her by her wrist and turned to face him. ‘I’m sorry. I really am. I’m just...worried.’

‘I’m just acting stupid, that’s all,’ her voice was pitiful and Jon had no idea what to do.

He wrapped his arms around her. ‘That’s not true. I told you that you are brave, remember?’

Sansa gave a weak snort. ‘It’s because mother and septa.’

The mention of septa made Jon frown. He didn’t know much of that woman so he was unsure what to expect.‘What about them?’

Sansa was squeezing her eyes shut. ‘I’m stupid.’

‘No you are not but If you keep insisting on it instead of saying what is wrong then I might actually change my mind.’ Usually his taunts would make her smile but Sansa didn’t react instead she clung closer to him. ‘Please sweet girl, I’m worried.’

‘They had decided to talk about woman’s duties and about how...how to please a man. Said...said that I’m close to the age and-’ she started crying.

Jon somehow managed to move them to the stairs. It didn’t matter how many times he had saw his sister’s tears as each time the sight of her crying no matter the reason left him with a bitter taste. He was caressing her head when Sansa finally calmed down. ‘I know that it’s stupid to cry over things that are normal but I can’t help it. I’m afraid.’ she hiccuped.

‘There is nothing wrong in that,’ she wiped at her face and Jon brought her even closer. ‘I would kill anyone who would dare to lay a hand on you, I promise.’

Sansa smiled at his words. ‘You can’t promise me that.’

Jon grabbed her chin and made her look at himself. ‘And why not?’

‘I would drag you with me everywhere.’

He only smiled and shrugged. ‘ I believe I was to be your sworn shield?’

That awful man, if there was one thing he was regretful about it was that instead of a pot he didn’t have something heavier at hand at that time. Like an hammer. Yeah an hammer would have been nice.

‘I saw Robb with a girl once. They were kissing. It made me uneasy. The girl seemed to be happy and so was Robb. I used to dream about kissing too and now, now it seems like an nightmare to me.’

‘I think it all depends on the person. If you think about that man then keep in mind that he didn’t kiss you. He attacked you and tried to abuse you. If it will be done with a right person I think it would be pleasurable...probably.’

Sansa wrinkled her nose. ‘Probably? You mean that you don’t know.’

Jon blushed a little. ‘I never kissed but I think that it must be nice.’

Sansa was silent again and Jon started to worry that he had made her uneasy somehow, he was about to get up and suggest they retire when his sister caught him by the hem of his shirt. He looked at her in curiosity.

‘What is it?’

‘Could you...could you kiss me Jon?’ She asked in a small voice, looking at the ground.

They way she was behaving now told Jon that she wasn’t asking for a peck on forehead or cheek.

He swallowed loudly. ‘Why?’

‘You said that if it was done with a right person then it would feel nice.’ she looked up at him. ‘I...I don’t want to be afraid. Please, Jon.’

The proper answer should have been a firm ‘no’, brothers do not kiss sisters on lips and yet it was not the reason Jon was hesitating ‘You should kiss someone because you want to, Sansa. A person you like. ‘ He didn’t want to take advantage of her. He wanted her to have as many good memories as possible, he didn't want her to remember it later as something bad. ‘ I don’t want you to hate me later.’

‘But I like you,’ she pouted.‘And I want to know how it feels. When it’s with someone trusted. Someone important.’

‘Who am I to deny you anything, sweet girl?’

Jon sighed. He would do anything to keep her around, if she wanted a kiss she would get as many as she wanted. There was no one to tell them it wasn’t proper.

‘Close your eyes then,’ He looked around making sure no one was in sight.

She looked so delicate with her cheeks flushed and eyes shut, involuntary Jon licked his bottom lip. Placing his hands on her cheeks he asked for the last time. ‘Are you sure?’ His face was almost touching hers, Sansa opened her eyes and meet his gaze. Her eyes were unsure and questioning but not afraid or confused. She gave him a small smile and a nod, it was enough for him to close the distance between their lips. He placed his lips on hers brushing them slightly and felt a tingling sensation, Sansa opened her eyes and their gazes meet. Jon pulled away slowly.

Sansa traced her lip in wonder 'It was...nice,

Jon scratched his chin in embarrassment, his face was aflame. 'I won't have nothing against it if you would like to try it again.'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys would like to chat then feel free to do so :D I'm new on [tumbrl](https://amasanwolf.tumblr.com/) and would love to make friends ^^ I will also start to post small previevs of chapters there before publishing.


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